Handprints
by forever122
Summary: Summary: Why is it that imprints in rock are forever? Why can't they just fade or disappear? Or better yet, never exist from the start? I wish he never existed either. Life would be a lot less painful without a constant reminder of him. Then again, without him, I wouldn't be here, and neither would ka-chan


**Handprints**

Summary: Why is it that imprints in rock are forever? Why can't they just fade or disappear? Or better yet, never exist from the start? I wish he never existed either. Life would be a lot less painful without a constant reminder of him. Then again, without him, I wouldn't be here, and neither would my ka-chan.

* * *

The sun was just rising over the horizon, casting yellow-orange glows behind the shops and huts of Junrinan. A soft breeze blew ruffling white hair as birds began to rise. It was peaceful. At least, it would be if a certain blonde wasn't constantly whining and dragging her feet.

"Taichoooo. Why did we have to get up so early? The birds aren't even awake yet." Complained Matsumoto as a blue bird swooped over head.

"Why are you here again, Matsumoto?" asked Hitsugaya Toshiro as his eye twitched.

"Unohana-taicho said that someone had to accompany you if you left the division because she is still concerned about your leg, taicho." Matsumoto replied as she continued walking behind her captain.

"My leg is fine. Besides, she never said such a thing." Hitsugaya growled as he picked up his pace a bit. 'The shops will open up soon. I better hurry.' Hitsugaya thought.

"Taicho, your limping. Unohana even gave me a note." Matsumoto said. Hitsugaya quickly turned around. "What?" he asked as his eyebrow twitched.

"Yeah. Didn't you read it?" Matsumoto questioned as she stopped.

"You never gave me a note, Matsumoto." Hitsugaya seethed through clenched teeth.

"Oh? Hmm... Hold on a second. I think I have it with me." she mumbled as she reached inside her...um...cleavage. Toshiro's eyes widened and his face turned red as he shut his eyes tightly and turned away.

"Matsumoto! We're in public! Why do you even- you know what? I don't want to know." He said as he continued on his away. After a few more minutes of walking and Matsumoto digging... they came to the more secluded part of Junrinan where she produced the note.

"Ah! Here it is taicho!" She pronounced happily as she stopped and held out the paper for him to take. Hitsugaya continued walking.

"Matsumoto. I will not touch anything that has been in...there."

"Don't you want to read it though?" she asked as she continued walking, note in her hand.

"I don't need it since we're already here." he sighed. Matsumoto looked ahead and saw the old hut where she first told her captain to become a shinigami.

'Who would've thought he'd be a captain back then?' she thought to herself silently.

"Matsumoto. Are you coming?" Hitsugaya asked from the doorway. Matsumoto gave a small smile and nodded her ahead. She walked on over to her captain and he knocked on the door.

"Granny? Are you home?" her small captain asked as he slowly opened the door.

"Is that you, Toshiro?" asked a voice from another room.

"Hai, it's me." he said as he entered the small hut with Matsumoto.

"My, my. It's been quite awhile since I've last seen you. I see you brought a guest." an elderly woman said as she entered the room.

"This is Matsumoto Rangiku, my lieutenant." Toshiro said as he motioned to said person.

"It's nice to meet you." Rangiku said as she bowed.

"No, no. The pleasure's all mine. I've wanted to meet the person who encouraged my grandson to enter the academy for a while now." she said as she sat down at the small kotatsu. "Please, take a seat." Rangiku and Toshiro took off their waraji and sat down.

"Would you like some tea?" Granny asked as she made to get up.

"I'll get the tea." Toshiro said as he got up and went into the kitchen. It was silent for a few moments before anyone spoke.

"So, you're the one who told my grandson to join the academy?"

"Hai. He had great potential and an abundant amount of reitsu. I was surprised someone so young could have so much. If he didn't get his reitsu under control, he would've..." Matsumoto stopped.

"He would've killed me. It makes sense that he would have become a shinigami." Granny smiled in mirth.

"Granny, you're out of tea leaves. Would you like me to get some more?" Toshiro hesitantly asked as he re-entered the room.

"No, no. It's fine. I'll just get some tomorrow." Granny replied knowingly.

"I'll go get some." Matsumoto said as she stood up. "You should stay here and chat with Granny. I'll be back soon!" she said as she stepped out the door.

Matsumoto took a deep breath of air and let it out. It was so much calmer and quieter out in the Rukongai. She started down the path when she felt someone watching her. She swiftly turned around and saw a boy and girl around Hinamori's age staring at her from the hut next store. They both scurried back into the hut.

Matsumoto turned back around and continued on her way. It looked like the shops were just opening up. The lieutenant walked on for a few more minutes before coming across a shop that sells tea leaves. She approached the shop and inspected the tea leaves.

"May I help you, miss?" asked the shopkeeper.

"Ahh, yes. I would like some..." Matsumoto began as she looked up. 'Wait a minute. I know this man. I know this shop.' Rangiku thought as her face suddenly became sour.

"I would like to buy some tea leaves, but I just remembered how rude the people of this establishment are. I'll just take my business elsewhere." she said bitterly as she turned to leave.

"W-wait. Miss? What do you mean? The people who work here respect all customers and are polite. Especially to the children. You must have mistaken this shop for another." the shopkeeper said.

"No. I'm sure it was this one that took advantage of a kid about thirty years ago. You didn't give the kid his change, but left it on the counter." Matsumoto said as she was still poised to move on.

"Thirty years ago? How could I remember something that happened thirty years ago?" he questioned.

"I suggest you ask Jindabo for a description of the tenth division captain. Then, you'll recognize him." Matsumoto said as she walked away. It took ten more minutes of walking before finding another shop that sold tea leaves. She paid for them and started back to the house.

When she got there, she saw that her captain had taken off his haori and was working in a garden next to the house, the old woman watching him from a blanket on the ground nearby.

"I'm back!" she announced as she grew closer. Her captain looked up at her voice.

"What took you so long?!" Hitsugaya yelled slightly irritated.

"It was hard to find a good shop with tea leaves." she responded simply. Hitsugaya stared at her for a moment before sighing and going back to weeding. "Just go make the tea." he grumbled.

"Hai." Matsumoto responded. She began to walk into the hut, when Granny stood up. "Allow me." she said. Toshiro turned his head, "Matsumoto can handle it. You can just relax."

"No, no. I want to help Matsumoto-san." Granny said as Toshiro watched her follow Matsumoto. He sighed and went back to work.

"If you could start the fire, I can prepare the tea." Granny said to Matsumoto. The fuku-taicho started the fire and Granny came back with the preparations. They slowly began to make the tea.

"I hear there was war." Granny commented.

"Hai, there was." Matsumoto replied.

"Did Toshiro take part?"

"Hai." Matsumoto replied quietly. "Was he hurt during the war?" Granny asked. Matsumoto's eyes widened slightly. "How did you know?" she asked. Granny gave a small smile and replied, "He was limping as we went outside."

"Taicho was hurt. I don't think I should say any more about that." Matsumoto said quietly.

"What was the war about? Toshiro never told me. He didn't want me to be concerned." Granny stated. Matsumoto didn't speak for a few minutes. She looked down and said, "There were some traitors who wanted a certain power so they could destroy the Seireitei."

"I see." Granny said. After a few minutes, she asked, "Who were the traitors?"

Matsumoto hesitated for a moment. 'Is it okay for me to be telling her this? The war is over. It may help me though, to talk about it.' she thought. The lieutenant swallowed and said, "Captains Aizen Sousuke, Tosen Kaname, and...and Ichimaru Gin."

Granny frowned slightly. "Did you have a connection with Ichimaru?"

"I...I suppose you could say that. We were childhood friends. He saved me when I was younger from starvation. Gin made it through the academy in one year. He was a prodigy. I loved him. I wanted to start a family with him. I guess it was never supposed to be. We tried to have a child, but she was stillborn." Matsumoto sighed.

"He became distant after that. Apparently Gin followed Aizen for a long time. The end of the war though, brought some unexpected events. Gin turned on Aizen. He kept saying he was sorry to me. I don't know what he meant though." she continued.

It was silent for a few minutes, but it was broken by the sound of the tea kettle. Granny took it off the fire, and asked as she poured the tea, "What were his last words?"

"He said... he said... I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't get it back. I'm sorry I couldn't reunite you two. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you both. Don't cry Ran. I did it so you wouldn't have to cry. Much use that did, huh? I love you Ran. I love you both." Rangiku said as she began to tear up. Granny stopped pouring the tea and went over to Matsumoto. She embraced her to try to comfort her.

"Hey, what's taking so... Granny? Matsumoto? What's wrong? You're both crying." Toshiro said with concern as he rushed over.

"It's nothing dear. It's nothing." Granny replied as she let go of Matsumoto and wiped her tears on her sleeve. Matsumoto did the same. Toshiro creased his brow and asked," Are you sure?"

"It's nothing taicho. It's a women thing." Matsumoto said as she smiled back at her taicho, knowing that would quiet her taicho. He went quiet indeed. Toshiro averted his gaze and sat down at the kotatsu. Granny brought the tea over.

Toshiro picked his cup up with both his hands. He slowly brought it up to his mouth and was about to take a drink when a sudden sharp pain shot up his left arm. He yelped in pain and dropped his cup, spilling the tea all over the kotatsu. He clutched his arm and muttered some words under his breath.

"Taicho!" Matsumoto shouted as she reached out to him.

"I'm fine." he snapped as he pulled away from her.

"Toshiro..." Granny reprimanded as she also moved to him.

"I'm fine. It's nothing." Toshiro said quietly as he gripped his arm tighter.

"Unohana-taicho said not to strain your arm." Matsumoto reminded.

"I said I'm fine. I need to finish the garden," Hitsugaya said as he began to rise. Another sudden pain shot through him, this time in his left leg. He bit his lip as he held in his pain as his knee buckled. Matsumoto watched from the side lines as Hitsugaya's Granny asked him what was wrong and her captain trying to hold in and filter through the pain. It pained her to see him like this.

"I'll go finish weeding the garden. You stay here and rest, taicho." Matsumoto said as she stood up.

"You don't have to-" Toshiro began as he turned his head to her.

"Listen to her Toshiro. She knows what's best for you." Granny said.

"But-" Toshiro said as he turned his head to her.

"No buts, Toshiro. You should rest. You're still healing from the war it seems." Toshiro let his head drop and said, "Hai."

Matsumoto went outside and surveyed the garden. Her taicho had done a good deal of work. 'No wonder he strained his arm...' she thought.

"Well... I better get started." Matsumoto pushed up the sleeves of her kosode and got to work. She worked on weeding the garden for about forty five minutes before she stopped. The busty lieutenant surveyed her work. "Just a little bit left to go." she said to herself.

Matsumoto heard rustling nearby and turned her head towards the noise. She saw those two kids again. 'They've been around a lot. What do they want? Are they some of taicho's friends from Rukongai?' she thought. Matsumoto stood up to got talk to them, but as soon as the two saw her stand, they rushed off.

"Hey! Wai- Ow!" Matsumoto yelled as she moved to follow them. She would have too, if it weren't for her tripping on something. "Itai..."she said as she sat up. "What did I trip on? A weed?" She looked at the area still filled with weeds that she was currently sitting in. 'I don't see anything... Is there something underneath?'

Matsumoto continued weeding again, hoping to find what she tripped over. 'Dirt, dirt, dirt, stone, dirt, dir-' she thought as she weeded. "Stone?" Matsumoto carefully brushed off the dirt from the square stone. It had two handprints on it. One looking to be a small toddler's, the other perhaps very young adult. Underneath each was a word. The smaller one said, 'Shiro' in Hiragana, and the bigger one read 'Chichi', meaning father in Hiragana.

"Shiro? Is that short for Toshiro? What does that mean?" Matsumoto asked herself.

"Matsumoto-san? How are you with the weeding?" asked a voice from behind her. She turned her head and saw Hitsugaya's Granny. "I'm doing fine. I have a question though." she replied.

"Hai?"

"What is this stone?" Matsumoto asked as she pointed at it.

Granny came over and took a look. Once she saw it, a sad smile sprouted on her face. "This? I completely forgot this was here. I suppose you could say this stone is the only thing left of him for me to remember."

"Who's he?" she asked.

"My son. He won't be coming back. He was always so distant. He always said he didn't deserve to wear the name Hitsugaya." Granny said sadly.

"Hitsugaya? You're taicho's biological grandmother?" Matsumoto asked surprised as she whipped her head around.

"Hai."

"Taicho has a father?" her eyes widened.

"He had a never got to know his father though."

"I'm so sorry for your loss." Matsumoto replied. A quiet silence followed. "How is this here then?"

"My son spent some time with him when he came and dropped off some money. He really loved Toshiro. He didn't want to have the boy recognize him as his father though. Toshiro's father knew he would someday be a shinigami, and didn't want the boy to recognize him when he did." explained Granny.

"What about his mother?"

"My son said she died in childbirth. I never believed him though. I knew he was in trouble again and he didn't want Toshiro or Toshiro's mother being harmed. His mother is probably still out there somewhere."

"You said taicho's father was a shinigami." Matsumoto said quietly.

"Hai. Now that his father is dead, I suppose I should tell Toshiro. He deserves to know."

"What was his father's name?" Matsumoto asked a little uneasily.

"His father's name? His father's name was Hitsugaya Gin. I heard he changed his name to Ichimaru Gin though." Granny said in a small voice. Matsumoto was silent. All she could do was stare at the stone in front of her.

"You said you had a child with him, Matsumoto-san. When was that child born?" Granny asked after a little while.

"What does it matter?" the lieutenant said quietly as tears formed in her eyes. "He went off and had a kid with another woman. It even turns out to be taicho."

Granny put a small, frail hand on Matsumoto's shoulder. " I knew my son. Gin only spoke of Toshiro's mother, and how wonderful she was. Although he didn't talk about her often, she sounds just like you. When was your child born?" Granny asked.

"My baby was born on December twentieth a little under one hundred years ago." Matsumoto said as she wiped her tears away.

"That would have been when Toshiro was born." Granny said solemnly.

Matsumoto suddenly went rigged. "That child... I never even got to see the child. Gin took her away before I could. My child...my child isn't dead, is she? My child's not even a girl. The child...MY child..." Matsumoto trailed off as she brought her hands to her face. A loud sob echoed throughout the area. Granny rubbed Matsumoto's back to sooth her.

"Matsumoto? What's wrong? Did something happen?" came a voice from the door way. Matsumoto turned her head to see her taicho limping towards her. A few feet away, his knee gave way again. He let out a yelp as he fell to the ground again.

"Taicho!" Matsumoto shouted as she dove towards the young white haired boy. He was hissing under his breath as he moved to sit on his bottom and clutch his leg. Matsumoto pulled him into her embrace almost immediately as she reached him.

"Ahh! Matsumoto! What are you doing?!" Toshiro yelled as he tried to push the woman off of him. He stopped when he felt wetness fall onto his cheeks. Then he realized something. This wasn't her usually hug. Her hugs consisted of him being smushed into his chest and nearly suffocating as she giggled at his expense.

This hug...this hug was different. For one thing, he wasn't smushed in her chest and slowly suffocating. It was more like she was gently cradling him against her. She wasn't giggling or smiling, she was crying. "Matsumoto?" Toshiro asked. He spotted his Granny and saw her crying little.

"Is everything alright?" he asked again. Matsumoto's grip tightened a little, seeming almost desperate.

"Everything's alright now. Everything's alright." Matsumoto repeated as she cradled her child.

"Why are you crying then?" the boy in her arms asked as he looked up at her with his beautiful teal eyes.

'They're like Gin's.' Matsumoto thought. At that, she starting sobbing again. Hitsugaya didn't know what to do. He wasn't good with this type of thing. He looked to his Granny for help. She gave him a small smile and shook her head. Granny went over and put a hand on Matsumoto's shoulder.

"How about we go inside?" she suggested. Matsumoto just shook her head as she continued crying.

"Toshiro...Toshiro...My Toshiro...My little Toshiro..." she said as she kept on holding her son.

"Granny? What's wrong with Matsumoto? I she alright?" Toshiro asked concerned. His lieutenant never called him by name. Something HAD to be wrong.

Granny gave him a smile as she asked Matsumoto to tell him. Matsumoto sniffled and released the boy. She stood there waiting for him to get up, but realized he couldn't. She leaned down and picked him up bridal style.

"Matsumoto! What are you doing?" Toshiro asked in surprise. The lieutenant didn't respond as she carried him the few feet to where she was before. Where she found out the truth. She set him down and knelt next to him, staring at something.

Toshiro looked to where she was staring and was confused at what he saw. "What is this?" he asked as he crawled a little to see the stone better.

"It's a memory, Toshiro. It's history, part of YOUR history." Granny said behind him. He looked back at Matsumoto, but all she did was stare at the stone intently. Toshiro looked back at the stone. With his right hand, he slowly traced the Hiragana for white with his index finger.

'Shiro must mean me.' he thought as he then placed his hand ontop of the small imprint. His eyes looked to the left to see a bigger hand print with the Hiragana for father underneath. 'Father? What does that mean? I don't have a father. I don't have parents. I died on a plain of ice.' Toshiro thought to himself.

'Master...' Hyorinmaru rumbled. 'You inner world, and my domain, is a plain of ice. At the moment of your birth you saw your inner world. Master...you didn't die, you were born.'

'Born? Then that means... when...when Matsumoto was holding me and saying my name... you mean...' Toshiro thought as he retracted his hand from the stone. He turned to look at Matsumoto, and then his grandmother.

"Granny... I didn't die...did I." Toshiro stated.

"No, Toshiro. You never died." Granny responded. Toshiro waited another moment before asking his last question.

"Granny? If I didn't die, then who are my parents?" he asked quietly. He noticed that Matsumoto buried her face in her hands, but focused on his grandmother.

"Do you want to know, Toshiro? Do you really want to know?" Granny asked. Toshiro looked down at his hands clasped in his lap. 'Do I want to know? Do I want to know the identities of the people who abandoned me?' Toshiro asked himself.

He sighed but looked up at his grandmother with a determined face. "Hai. I wish to know the identities of my parents." Matsumoto started to lightly cry.

"Your father, my son, is, or should I say was named Hitsugaya Gin. He always said he never deserved to where the name Hitsugaya, so he changed into Ichimaru apparently." Granny said slowly. Toshiro's breath hitched and his eyes went wide.

"Your mother, your mother was you father's only true love. Your mother is Matsumoto Rangiku." Granny finished. Toshiro quickly turned to look at Matsumoto, who couldn't look him in the face.

"Is...is it true, Matsumoto?" he asked quietly. Matsumoto looked at him with the saddest expression he had ever seen. It was full of sadness, and regret, and loss.

"It apparently is taicho. I finally figured out the meaning of Gin's last words. He said he was sorry. He said he was sorry he couldn't get something back. He said he was sorry he couldn't let us be together. He said he was sorry he couldn't protect us both. He told me not to cry. He did it all so he could make it end without me crying. He told me he loved me. He told me he loved us both." Matsumoto said through tears.

Toshiro's own eyes began to well with tears, but he hastily wiped them away. "Why?" he asked. "Why did he separate us? Why did he take me away from you? Why did he follow Aizen? I don't understand!" Toshiro cried. He finally let his tears flow, nut covered his eyes with his hands.

Matsumoto slowly crawled over to him and embraced him. "I'm not sure...Toshiro. I'm not sure." she said slowly as she rocked him.

"Gin left a letter for Toshiro the last time he came by to drop off money personally. He said that if anything were to happen to him and no more money came, if Toshiro was old enough, I was to give him the letter. I suppose now is the right time." Granny said. Toshiro looked at her, nodded, and wiped the tears off his face.

Matsumoto released him and stood up. She once again picked him up, and they headed inside. As the door to the small hut shut, two children scurried away, deciding to keep the knowledge to themselves. They decided, the information didn't need to be shared. It wouldn't change anyone's opinion of the white haired boy. So why bother?

"Here's the letter." Granny said as she handed it to Toshiro. Her grandson stared at it for a moment before looking back up at her and saying, "Arigouto, Granny. I think...I think I'll read it later. It was nice seeing you and I'll be sure to come again soon. I'm afraid we must leave. Matsumoto." he said as he directed his attention to his mother, telling her he needed to be picked up.

Matsumoto sighed but picked him up anyway. "This is going to be a long walk back to Seireitei. You should really do that therapy Unohana suggested. I honestly don't want to carry you everywhere." Matsumoto said as they started on their way back.

"Urusai! It was a one time thing. My leg won't give out again." Toshiro said stubbornly as he crossed his arms and looked away.

"Honestly. Where did you get your stubbornness from? Gin was never THIS stubborn, and I know I'm definitely not..." she rambled on. Toshiro wasn't listening. He had a small smile on his face as he looked at the ground.

'I would have never had guessed this would happen if I brought Matsumoto with. I guess I'm glad imprints last forever. I'm glad it didn't fade or disappear. I'm glad thst stone exists. It tells me a few things. That I have a mother. That I had a father. That it will always remind me of him. It tells me that my father did care for me. I'm glad we made that stone. If we didn't, Matsumoto and I wouldn't be together now. Imprints are history. This one, just so happens to me mine.' Toshiro thought as he slowly dozed off in Matsumoto's arms.

* * *

Whoo! This one took me awhile, but I'm proud of it. I thought of it when I looked at a picture poem thing. Hope You enjoyed!


End file.
